What to Do After Having Received a Late Diagnosis of Autism

Getting a late-in-life autism diagnosis can be a major turning point in one's life depending upon how one uses the information. When I was clinically diagnosed some two months after my 60th birthday, I had a series of "ah-hah" moments as I reflected upon my life and understood how my autism had caused me to make the personal and professional choices I did at different metaphorical crossroads in my life.

People who received a late diagnosis of autism have likely developed coping mechanisms

Older adults who have been diagnosed with autism have likely already developed coping mechanisms to deal with many of life's challenges. Driven by societal expectations and the need to maintain employment, many of these people including myself, developed these strategies to blend in, to avoid stigma, and to mask communication differences even though we didn't know why we were the way we were.

Examples of Coping Mechanisms

• Masking / Camouflaging: Actively mimicking the social cues, facial expressions, and conversational pacing of neurotypical colleagues while suppressing natural autistic tendencies. Example: A colleague tells a joke and everyone laughs. You suppress the tendency to wince at the sound of the loud laughter, choosing to laugh as well even though you may not have understood the joke.

  
  

• Scripting and Rehearsal: Mentally preparing what to say before making phone calls, attending meetings, or participating in social interactions. Example: When I first started teaching, I literally scripted out what I wanted to say. As the years passed and I developed experience, I switched from scripting to simply outlining major points so that I wouldn't forget anything important.

  
  

• Hyper-Organization: Relying heavily on rigid schedules, detailed to-do lists, and alarm systems to manage daily tasks and compensate for executive dysfunction. Example: Throughout the 32 years that I taught, I ALWAYS had a daily class schedule on the board.

  
  

• Sensory Management: Using discreet methods to regulate their environment, such as wearing earplugs under hair, choosing specific fabric textures, or finding isolated spaces for breaks. Example: When I'm nervous, I have a tendency to self-stim by twitching my fingers. As a teacher I sometimes faced my class and held my hands behind my back so that my twitching fingers were hidden from sight.

If you have been diagnosed late in life, you should think about the future you want

Take time to process your emotions and think about the future you want.

• Identify your strengths and build upon them to achieve your goals.

  
  

  Example: Since I tend to be projecte oriented, I would arrive at work two hours early and would often stay after school for an additional two hours. During th is time, I graded assignments, updated my paperwork, and wrote lessons for t he coming week. By using my time productively throughout th e week, my weekends were typically my own.

  
  

• Identify your weaknesses and develop workarounds to offset these deficiencies.

  
  

  Example: When I first went to college, I found it difficult to navigate around the university campus. The campus was huge. There were crowds of students. I found that when I got very nervous, my mind would blank and I would momentarily forget where I was supposed to be and how I was supposed to get there. I adjusted for this by inserting a campus map within the plastic cover of the three ring binder that I used to take notes. Within the plastic fold of the interior cover, I included a copy of my course schedule which included dates, times, and locations for each class.

  
  

• Connect with an autistic community to help better understand your unique sensory, social, and energy needs.  This could be done on-line through social media, virtual calls, in-person meetings with local support groups, and/or a therapist specializing in autism.

  
  

  Example: Shortly after my diagnosis, I began connecting with an autistic subboard on redditt.

A late diagnosis invariably comes with self reflection.

Reframe Your Personal History

Although a late diagnosis can answer questions about why you are the way you are, personal experience has also taught me that misunderstandings regarding past behavior may have led to estrangement from friends and family.

Many adults go through a phase of mourning about what could have been" if only they had known earlier. I myself have belatedly realized that work related stress caused me to switch elementary jobs between 7 schools and five employers over a period of 17 years. Had I known that I was autistic much earlier in life, I might have alleviated some of this stress through therapy. Employment longevity could have paid off with earlier retirement.

For those of you who have received a late diagnosis, you may want to consider the following.

• Replace negative labels: Understand past difficulties with relationships, sensory overload, or job burnout as the result of a neurodivergent brain, not personal failures.

  
  

• Re-evaluate your life story: View your experiences through a lens of self-understanding rather than self-blame. 

  
  

• Make things right as needed. Be aware that communication is a two way street. Some people who may now be estranged because of past issues, may have no interest in reconciliation.

Exploring Sensory Needs & Self-Care

Autism affects how your brain processes sensory information such as lighting, sound, and texture. Identifying what drains your energy and what recharges it is an essential part of self-care. Self-care involves taking the time to do things that can help you to live well while improving both your physical health as well as your mental health. Good health choices help to manage stress while increasing your energy and lowering your risk for illness.

• Review your sensory environment: Identify your triggers—such as fluorescent lighting, loud environments, or uncomfortable clothing—and make small, actionable adjustments to your living and working spaces. 

  
  

• Manage sensory overload: Consider utilizing tools like noise-canceling headphones, specialized earplugs (like Loop earplugs), or sunglasses. 

  
  

• Allow for recovery time: Build solitary time into your schedule to process the day’s events and prevent autistic burnout. 

  
  

Look for Support & Accommodations

You don’t have to figure everything out on your own. Professional and personal support systems can make a massive difference.

• Find a neuro-affirming professional: Consider working with a therapist, psychologist, or occupational therapist who specializes in adult neurodiversity to help you develop coping strategies and/or to manage anxiety or emotional regulation.

  
  

• Learn about workplace accommodations: If you are employed within the United States, you may be legally entitled to adjustments at your job under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). Accommodations can include written instructions instead of verbal ones, working from home, noise-canceling headsets, or a modified workspace.

  
  

• Connect with the community: Engage with other late-diagnosed autistic adults through online groups, forums (like Reddit's r/autisticadults), or local support groups. Hearing from people with shared experiences can be incredibly validating.

  
  

If you have received a late diagnosis for autism,

how do you plan to use this information?

Please feel free to share your thoughts or your own questions in the comments.